What Do I Need?

A lot of things in my life have me stressed right now.  I have been reading a book called Hike Your Own Hike lately and it's pointing out why I have been unhappy for so long.  Don't get me wrong, there are things that make me happy, but there are also things that drag me down. 

I have done a lot to improve my situation so that I can be happy.  I have lived below my means for quite a few years so I could get my debt paid off.  That in turn is supposed to allow me some freedom to not get trapped in the same grind that I have been in for years.  My debt is paid off now and I have successfully started saving money.  Unfortunately, I am very successful at spending money. 

I have looked at our budget over and over again and we could easily live on half our salary.  I am not liking the path that my career is taking me on.  I feel that I need change.  I have done the same thing for so long, I am worried that whatever I do I will not like.  I shouldn't be like that.  I did like what I was doing when I first moved back to Kansas.  Everything changed and I was pulled back into what I had been doing before I moved back.  Now I'm swamped with no chance of ever getting caught up and that will eventually lead to the end of my job.  It's not if, it's when.  There's no comfort in knowing that everything that I do is unappreciated because there is something else not getting done.

There are other forms of work around, some that pay better, some that pay worse.  I'm really not worried about the pay any longer.  I want to find something where I won't dread going to work.

Now that I have kids I use that as an excuse that I need to continue making money.  We all have so much we could live without.  Sometimes I feel trapped from all the crap I have.  It would take me a year to sell it all off.  I could live off that for over a year.  Maybe that's what I need to do.

I have thought a lot about it and can't come up with an answer.  I'm too exhausted to think too hard about it. 

Maybe I'll sell my boat, camper, and everything I don't need.  Give the rest of what I don't need to Goodwill and take off to hike the Appalachian Trail.  My Mom and Dad would hate it.  My wife says to go for it.  I want to do it while I still can.  I'd hate to leave my wife and kids for 6-7 months, but maybe it would change my perception in life and help me to be a better parent, husband, son, etc. 

I'm getting closer to making that decision.  The thought has been in my head for a few years now.  I think we could swing it financially.  I could give up on my career path that I have taken and not feel bad.  Maybe I could go back to school and work part time jobs when I get back so I could get into something I would enjoy more.  Maybe I don't need school for that. 

I am going to continue to ponder the idea.