I hit the self destruct button and played poker. It wasn't pretty. I called down hands where I knew I was beat. My mind was saying there's no way they would still be in the hand with those two cards, even though experience has taught me that they would still be in the hand with those cards and they would only play like that with those 2 cards.
I was in a huge funk last night and should not have been on the tables. I definitely shouldn't have played the hands I played when I was in that kind of funk.
I'm irritated by something I have no control over. I should be able to let it go and play cards, but I can't. My plans have changed to play a different site because of something I read. I thought I had something good going that now seems like a lie. Now it's going to be harder to get back to where I thought I was.
This seems a lot like a couple other times I had something going, only to get my spirit crushed, when I was told that I could no longer do what I was doing. This time I got a heads up ahead of time so it's a little better.
I may never get to multi table 180 man sng's again. I may never get to play multiple low cost tournaments with lots of players and good structure again. I may never get good rake back again. These were the things that have helped make me profit's in the past.
It's time to stop thinking about what I have lost and start thinking about what I still have. I still have a chance to build my bankroll. I just need to stay focused and play better cards. Other people are doing it if I keep working at it, I can too.
Ok pep talk time. Get with it playa. You know what you need to do and you will just do it. And if your not physically and mentally fit for it you stay away. We don't always play in the best places. Not every card room is the Bellagio so we work our way up. We start in the back room trenches, we do what we have to, and work work work our way up the ladder. You know what to do now do it.
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